...big girl panties and thicker skin.
An entry from a few weeks ago, "Progress," was posted on an Autism blog. While most of the comments were positive, a few people didn't understand why my doctor would insist that Ollie go to Target even though it freaks him out, and why I would follow that advice (which technically was to not give in to tantrums, especially in that situation - to help him plow through).
I saw them, and I felt a little crushed. I guess I had hoped that parenting a "special needs" kid would be different than parenting a neurotypical one - that parents would band together to form some sort of front line of support. And while I've found most of that in the online ASD world, it would seem that (in the same way that NT parents do), people are more than willing to find something they disagree with in either your methods...or your madness.
Raising any child is an individual journey, because *they* are individuals. I am learning to parent Bit differently than I parented Ollie first because she is an individual, and also because she is neurotypical. I never had to deal with a kid who cried when I left the room, for example.
Parenting shouldn't require the growth of thicker skin (something my mother always told me I needed to do, and something that led me to make horrible faces at her after she said it) or the donning of big-girl britches. But, apparently, it does.
I raise my children how my husband and I see fit. I raise them to be good people, to function in society to the best of their abilities and desires, and to be happy. I hope to raise them to follow the Lord, but that is ultimately their decision. The way that we parent is based on research, prayer, advice from specialists (especially in the case of Ollie), and our parent-gut-feelings. We re-evaluate what we've done daily, adjust where necessary, and move forward.
And in my book, that makes us kick-butt parents. I'm telling it like it is. We're not perfect, but we sure do try the hell out of it, and that makes up for the lack of perfection. We are falliable, and we fall down as much as we soar ahead. But we have two happy, healthy kids who love us and who we love beyond anything on this earth.
And those words are my thicker skin, and my big girl panties. I will not cringe anymore under the words of others; I don't need *anyone's* help to be hard on myself.
I accomplish that quite well on my own, thanks.
